2nd birthday present

4th of Nov

she sudden message me ... 'wei'
i think it was 9 something at d night..

i were shock, i reply then 'yesh... wrong number ? :-D '
then she ask me whether i free or not ...

then i guess .. she must be wanna give me something, then i ask her 'you want to give me sumthing ?'
then she reply 'yes' and ask me go down to pondok..

that time, i were thinking 'is she want to return d watch that i gave her before ??'
but i din think much, i just reply ' no nid ler...'

after about 5minutes, she send me a message, 'i have gave it to your friend.'
then i receive it after 2minutes i read the message.

it was covered by the plastic bag. i think it is... T-shirt or something ... i havent take it out..
i just put it in my drawer.. 'Glordano', i can read from the plastic bag..

i were happy but in the same time, i feel so sad ...
cause i were planed to forget all the thing she done to me, at least don't want to keep it in my mind... messages, her caring .. everything...

the 1st time she bought me 红豆水.. that how we start.. start to get closer... start o care each other..

the very 1st beginning was .... i company her n her friends to BSN to buy the code for the PTPTN. she bought me 红豆水 to thank me..
after that i also bought her drinks, food... to thank her for buying me ...
she even gave me a homemade 凉水 in that time...

about a week ago, i have quarrel with her.. she says.. it was a mistake.. bought me that 红豆水.
because that how we start...from stranger becomes friend, from friend become close friend, and even close...

we discuss our problem in the facebook message. we both wrote so long.. about 1k words. she wrote in mandarin, while i wrote in english. but i also reply her 2messages in mandarin..

finally.. she said.. she can't accept me...
then i reply said.. 'i accept and respect ur decision'

THE END

i thought my story has comes to the end...
it was the end .. until, she message me and gave me the present.. then she message me using facebook '或许有些东西你已经不需要了吧... 不过原本就打算送你的东西,觉得还是给你比较好.
不管你要怎样处理他,我也不打算过问. 恩... 祝福你考试顺利... '

i don't know how to reply... my friend ask me, just reply her ' thx a lot, wish u al d best too !'
but i can't... i can't act like really nothing happened ...

i still can't reply the message, i still can't take out my present from my drawer .....

i were so down .. past few days ... im starting getting myself, used to go on my daily life without her.. not to message her, not to wait for her message.. my phone looks like not functioning at all.. maybe it has shut it down itself.. i had been few days didn't received a single message, from anyone...

im waiting for my doctor, Dr. Time, to heal me.. but suddenly, the feeling comes back, my sadness..

im start thinking ...why she still wan buy me present ??
y ? did she said she was regret bought me thing ??
y ? is she just, just treating me as friend ?
y? she bought it from very early ? before we had quarrel ?
lots of question .....

i don't want to think ... every night, i sleep at 4am.. most early is 4am.. im so afraid i can't sleep.. open my eyes, wait for the dawn .. i want make myself as tired as possible, i want to sleep once i lay down on my bed.. i don't want to think..

this few days ... i can feel the emptiness.. at the night, after dinner, i keep looking for food, biscuit, sweet, bread, anything that can put in mouth.. i want to eat.. but actually, i'm not hungry at all ....
'that call emptiness ...' my friends told me when i told them about ....

i wana sleep ler ...
Gud nite, 'her name' ! :-)
every night i also message her ... until ...


time to sleep ! ^^
tomorrow will be better ! ^^ go go go !